Taking a Good Hard Look...

Yesterday was a hard one... a necessary but a hard one.

Usually whenever the ex and I fight it is always about the kids... this one was different. I felt like he was taking a personal dig at me... and he was. I have gotten to the point that I have no desire to fight... why bother... so I just hung up and refused to answer. He sent texts that I never read (probably will later, but not yet) and voicemail that I haven't listened to (probably won't ever... he usually says nasty things he really doesn't mean) and sent me a long email attacking me. Now the email I read... wasn't going to but a glance at it made me curious.

It was a personal attack... that was for sure... and it was filled with a ton of lies. As I read it I realized that some probably came from the kids and then were manipulated by him to fill his agenda. Not quite sure what that agenda is yet... time will tell I guess. After my anger faded and I talked to the kids about it (I felt that I needed to make them own up to the lies... it is much harder to lie to the person it is about) I sat down and really read the email. I wanted to reply... not that I needed to defend myself, I felt that it was somewhat necessary. We need to keep the peace after all... what is important is the kids in all of this. Whether I want to be or not... I am stuck with him, forever.

This is what I saw... with all of the lies and exaggerations... there was a little truth mingled in there somewhere. I have lost sight of some of the important things... it opened my eyes a little. Not that he is right by any means... but he may have a bit of a point.

So, I make this pledge to fix those things... starting today. The lies... well God and I know the truth, my kids know the truth and isn't that what really matters?!

Let's turn this negative into a positive...