Where the heck have I been?

So yeah, I am a slacker...

Actually, to be fair to myself... I did not want to complain too much and honestly, the last year has been hell and a half. I am finally getting it all worked out. I have a ways to go but things are looking up. :)

I am going to give this bloggy thing a try again, I enjoyed it so much before. This is just my quick check in... to let you know that I am alive and kickin. I looked at the storm headed my way and said "Bring on the rain" stood strong and firm and I made it through in one piece :)

We will talk again tomorrow :)

Life just gets in the way...

Wow! What a week it has been. Lots has been going on.

Let's see... to start off with...

I MISS MY KIDS!

I know I should be taking advantage of this me time, but seriously... who needs it?! I just want to scoop them all up and hug them and never let them go. They left a little over 2 weeks ago, on the 7th. They were scared, and excited, and scared, and sad. I thought Hannah was going to cry when she said goodbye... she may have when she got in the car. Silly girl thinks she needs to be so strong all the time. Need to work on that or she will be way too much like me :) But enough of that, because I don't need to by crying again... yes I cry! I know that might be a surprise to some, but yes it happens from time to time.

Second big thing... my job is going to crap! They just cut my pay... really?! 20% is big and honestly, although I go to work I sure only feel like giving 80% effort... maybe less because they also got rid of my vacation time. Stupid me though... always got to give my best... stupid ethics! Boo to ethics!! I have outstanding paychecks that haven't cleared the bank, actually never even got my check from last week. I know why things are the way they are, and yes I think pay cuts are better than letting people go, but do they really expect me to believe that they cut all of their pay also. No way! We are still employing a brother-in-law because he doesn't have any work... seriously he isn't even a plumber. Oh well... can't be too bitter... I have a job after all. Guess I just need to look for something else. Don't think there is much out there though....

It's easier to hit the pavement when you have a job though... so a walking I will go...

I have been a huge bummer on the running thing... my friend Heather is kicking it and I suck. Going running early in the morning if it kills me... if you see me grasping for air on the side of the road just throw me some water and wave :D

Maybe, I made a huge mistake with the whole school thing next semester... I really want to do it but I am not sure I am going to be able to make this work. Maybe I should go find a bartending job at one of those seedy clubs in Scottsdale... bet I could make some pretty good money... hmm... it's a thought!

Then my Aunt on my dad's side asked for my mom's phone number... can you believe that I don't even have it. It's not like we talk. It's not like it is my choice.... I love her and I have given her every opportunity but she just does not want to be a part of my life. Let's just add one more thing on there... yes!

Sorry I sound so negative. I can't even be happy the sun is shining, cause it's not!

Well... at least we are all healthy :)

I still stand by the saying... "If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back."

It is just a little pain...

Well, really it is not just a little pain... it really isn't. Anyone who really knows me, knows I have a pretty high tolerance for pain, and an even bigger resistance to going to the doctor. I have finally come to the point where I can not take it any longer. I am finally going to the doctor... yes I am giving in, throwing in the towel.

I have had a constant headache for the past month and a half, not just a little one, but the kind where almost everything is blurry and all I want to do is sleep. I ignore it because I really have no choice. It's not like I can just not go to work, can stop being a mom, or not take care of my responsibilities. So I just keep going. My body is faltering though... finally I have no choice but to do something about it. I have had to take time off work because of the migraines that I am also having (2-3 a week), the throw up, can't see, please get away from me kind. I have had to ask the kids to quietly get themselves ready for bed, hang in their room till bed time, and come in and kiss me goodnight and tuck yourself in... that is the final straw... ridiculous! That is my job, not theirs.

So off to the doctor I go tomorrow morning... I hope that he can do something, at least make it stop for awhile. Honestly, I am afraid he will not really see the severity of what is going on. He doesn't know me, he doesn't know my pain tolerance, he may just think I am being ridiculous. Oh well, I guess we will see.

Here's to hoping we at least start on the path to an answer! :)

I also enroll for classes tomorrow for the fall semester! They accepted each and every one of my classes! Although they don't require the biology and statistics classes that I have taken... I am on my way! Should have no problem graduating in 3 semesters. Would be less except for when classes are offered, etc. So now the big problem is to figure out how to pay for it and my bills, because there is no way I can work like I do now.... I am resourceful so I will figure out something. I wish I had decided to do this like 2 months ago so I wouldn't have missed all the deadlines for scholarships... oops!

Here's to hoping I get a epiphany and it all comes to me... :D

Just keep swimming, just keep swimming...

Or running in this case! Jump over to my new and crazy blog at http://runnereran.blogspot.com/

Join my friend Heather and I on our journey to the "Flying Pig Marathon" in 2011... it's a process people! First stop for me the Groom Creek 1/2 Marathon in Prescott this September. Heather will be doing the Kenai River 1/2 Marathon in September. It is going to be a long process and pretty difficult seeing as we are 4000 miles apart. But we can do it! Yeah us!

For now it is public but I may change it over time... we will see how personal it gets.

Playing Catch-up

Yeah, yeah... I haven't posted in awhile. I am trying, really I am :)


So, I am going to try to fill y'all in on all that has happened since my last post... its a lot and I am sure I will leave some out, guess that is why you stay on top of these things right:)


So after Justin's district band concert... which was just amazing, and I need to get copies of the video that Grandma took so I can post them... Hannah was up next. The final choir concert of the year and she was super excited! I invited my Mom's family to come, which I admit, I forget to do for some reason. Usually I only tell my Dad's parents, probably because I see them all the time, but this time I remembered to get the invites out early and I knew that they would be excited to come. Well, Grandma, Grandpa and Uncle Jimmy all came and Hannah was so excited to see them in the audience. It was a great concert and we all went to Uncle Bears and had ice cream afterwards.

Here is a picture of the Stanley's and the Willbanks' after the concert.

It was so nice to have them be there... we really need to spend more time with them, we are so close after all.

So after that we had Mother's Day... my children are really the sweetest ever! They make me some of the most amazing stuff and they are too, too funny! I really love being a Mommy! It is the best job ever!! We went over to Max and Anne's after church and spent some great family time... the kids in the pool and the grown-ups just hanging out. My Dad even came which was so nice. It was a hard day for him as his wife left that morning to move back to Texas... he filed the paperwork the next week. I know he is sad about being alone but it really is the best thing for him. Plus, if you have ever met her, or heard any of the freaking crazy things that have happened... you would know it is so much better for all of us... Dang! that woman is crazy! She only wanted my motor home in the divorce and her car. Of course she asked for the one thing my dad couldn't give her... in true fashion! I gave it to him, what else was I going to do? I have a soft spot for my dad and I would do anything for his happiness. He will pay me later for it.. I hope. I will really miss it though!

Moving on....

School is out! My kids are so excited! This year brings lots of changes... Justin is moving on to Jr. High... really?! When did I get so OLD? I couldn't be prouder of my kids. Heather made the honor roll with only one B! Considering her problems with concentrating and talking too much during class... pretty dang good! Plus, she has so many friends... dang... I realized it when we were at the many end of the year concerts and state fairs, etc. she seems to be friends with everyone, in every grade. Hannah, my little smarty pants, participated in the LEAP program for the last quarter so her time was split between 2 classes. She still made the honor roll with all A's but she was a little disappointed in herself because this was the first quarter this year that she didn't make the Principal's honor roll... she did get a reading award and a gift certificate to Border's...that made up for it all :) Justin, where do I even start?! He has made such a miraculous change this year... I am so very, very proud of him! Last year was hard. Hard for him, hard for me... he hated school! He got awful grades, fought all the time, cried in class... trouble all the time. This year he was a completely different kid! I think some of it had to do with me putting my foot down and holding him back. His dad was completely against it, but I held my ground and it really worked out. I also shifted my schedule so that I was home in the afternoon to help with homework and just have a more balanced home. He was on the honor roll twice and on the PRINCIPAL'S honor roll the last quarter. That means that his grades were all above a 95% in every subject! He also won the contest for the best poster for his state project... a ticket to a Diamondback's game! He got a 100% on that poster and a 90% on the paper! Wow! He loves school and was sad for it to be over... what the heck! I am on cloud nine!

I have made some big changes... not sure how I am going to do them yet... but we will see. I feel like if I don't just do it I never will. So, I enroll next week at U of A in Tucson to finish my Chemistry degree. Dropped the Biology because I just don't have that much time. I have been working with them on getting my classes transfered... talk to my advisor next week but it all looks promising. Already got confirmation on a couple... yeah no more English classes for me :) Now I just need to figure out how I am going to keep paying my bills... anyone got any extra money they want to throw my way :D I will figure it out... I always do. So bring it on!

Well, that is my catch up for now. I will try to be better in the future. Oh yeah... almost forgot! I got the brick done around the bbq and wall. Looks amazing! We were going to do it ourselves, had the sand spread and everything, all the bricks in the back. But then my dad got this great idea to just have someone do it. I think it was laziness, a little bit anyways. I gave in and it took forever to get them out. But it was worth it, because he did a great job! As they were doing it, my dad looked at me and said "after watching him we so could have done this ourselves." Really?! $600.00 later?! Oh well... here are some pictures. I still need to spread more sand, get it in all the cracks and then seal it. I am going to put a wet seal on it... gonna look great!

Finally... some time off!!

I finally did it! I finally took a vacation. It was so needed.

I wasn't gonna go... always think about it, but I am always too afraid of falling so behind financially that I back out. My family is always going to Rocky Point, always talking about all the fun on the beach and at the "Cardboard Mall" as they call it, and I am always missing it. But not this time! I finally broke down and went along. The kids were with their dad and now seemed as good a time as any. Oh... I will be paying for it. I already am feeling the pinch. Dang that was a lot of work to skip out on. The paychecks are gonna be tiny for the next 2 weeks... ugh! But is was so worth it.

We left last Wednesday night. Mind you I was supposed to leave on Thursday night and come back earlier. I was traveling in my motorhome (which is about to be gone ) with my Dad but at 12 on Wed afternoon he said that he wasn't going to go. So, it was either not go at all... which was probably the smart move... or leave early and basically leave work early, pack in 10 mins and get back to Grandma's before they left without me. Needless to say I forgot lots o stuff! Oh well, I made it about an hour before we left :)

We had so much fun! I found seashells, read on the beach, shopped at the "cardboard mall", drank margaritas with my family, found out what a real shakedown is... experienced all of Rocky Point. We even got to be part of the "swine flu" scariness with everyone at the border wearing masks and giving us a handout telling us what to watch out for... yikes! There was a point where I didn't think I would ever want to go again (shakedowns are scary) but I am pretty sure this girl will go again. Maybe even take the kiddos, not for awhile though. It needs to get back to what it was before our economy took a nose dive... they are really hurting down there... I feel awful for them!

Well, now it is back to reality... back to not enough money to pay the bills, three kids, two jobs, loneliness, trying to figure out how to fit school in this fall... dang, reality bites sometimes!

Oh, but Justin had the first of his band concerts on Tuesday night... my little boy is so awesome! He really is amazing... I watched him help those around them that were having trouble with the music and everything. I am so impressed with him. He has his last concert in a couple of weeks and Hannah has her choir concert next week. They make is so easy to be a Mom... make it all worthwhile... make me smile every minute of everyday! I had a long conversation with a friend on Monday night and he was telling me that he didn't want kids. He said a lot of it has to do with not wanting to put children through a situation like mine... what happens if it doesn't work out. I wouldn't want it any other way! I am so close to my kids and I know that although the divorce was horrible for all of us it is one of the reasons we are even closer than we were.

Wow! I could go on and on about them forever... but I will leave that for another time :)

Stucco... Done and Done!!

I am so glad that I thought it would be a good idea to stucco the BBQ and wall myself (well, plus Grandma who is always along in my little projects!) I am not being sarcastic... I am really glad. I admit there was a point on the last day that I was so very done with stucco... but the sense of accomplishment is just amazing :0) Was this the point Grandma said... "see who needs a man?!" No, she did that when I was hanging 3 fans in the house, very heavy ones at that. She brings up a very valid point. I mean its not like I can't do everything by myself... I swear I have been for basically my whole life... but really who wants to. Maybe I should pretend to be helpless and then I won't be alone.... something to ponder I guess. But I digress...

Yes we did such a good job on the stucco job. There was a total of 3 coats... 2 base coats and then a different finish coat. None of us have ever done any stucco work so this was a learning experience. I think we did pretty good. Next time though I would so get an electric mixer.

This is what it looked like before:

Here is the first coat:

And this is it finished... well the stucco at least:

Painting, clean-up and lights are next. The top of the BBQ will have to wait for a bit... I need to get some grass in this backyard before I ship the dogs off somewhere... the dirt in the house is driving me crazy!

This is the plan for completion...

~ Run the rest of the electric (outlets and lights)

~ Paint the BBQ and wall

~ Sprinklers for the yard

~ Drip for the planter and around the yard

~ Sod

~ Build the bench on the wall

~ Brick or flagstone -probably brick because I know I can't do the flagstone alone and I don't have the money to pay someone... unless some strong man wants to come donate their time ;)

~ The top of the BBQ

~ rock and plants around the yard

Dang, there is still so much to do and money is so tight... this might take forever!! One day it will be done though... so looking forward to that! When its done... we are having a party at the house!